Updated: Feb 26
This blog is written by Jen Josey, Real Estate Investor, and REIGN Coach. She is not a professional writer and writes like she talks so put your red pen away. Jen is extremely opinionated but reserves the right to change her opinion at any time because, well, that's the way she rolls. She may also use colorful language so don't be offended. Jen does not claim to be an expert, she is just sharing her personal thoughts and adding a perspective on investor topics that may benefit her readers. Jen also finds it strange to write in the third person. Enjoy!
I gotta say...rejection was a tough pill to swallow when I first started out in the real estate investment world. There were times where I could have easily given up. Like the time I sent marketing letters to an entire neighborhood and I received a call with a woman screaming at me, telling me to stop sending her letters (it was the first one). Or the time we got out bidded by only $500 for a super swanky condo in the hottest part of town. Or the time(s) we would get quotes from general contractors and then they would ghost us.
A quick lesson I had to learn was when I heard "no" I had to replace it with "NEXT!"
Now, every time I receive a call from someone yelling at me to remove them from our mailing list, I graciously thank them for taking the time to call so I can save money on future postage. NEXT! That condo we were so bummed over losing for a measly $500 ended up going through an expensive assessment a few months later to replace the roof. We also had our offer accepted on a different condo shortly after and that became the start of our 7-day flips. NEXT! And for all those GCs...screw them. After several "NEXT's" we ended up finding the absolute greatest general contractor that we now consider a team member for life. BOOM!
If you really think about it...rejection is a myth. You are no worse off if you get rejected. Hear me out: Think about a crush you had back in high school. You finally mustered up enough courage to ask Tina to the homecoming dance. Once Tina stopped laughing in your face, you were no worse off than before you asked that total bee-otch. Yes, the rejection stings but here's my point...before you asked her, you didn't have a date and after you asked her, you still didn't have a date. NEXT! You then ask Julie, a good friend, who graciously accepts your invite to the dance. Julie becomes the next Miss America six years later...chew on THAT, Tina...who's laughing now?
If you are looking for a private money lender to fund your next deal and your loaded sister-in-law says "no"...try to incorporate: SWSWSWSW. This stands for, "some will, some won't, so what...someone's waiting." This is so true! A couple of months ago, we had to stop lending from our self-directed 401k to show more assets available when applying for the refinancing of our three rental properties. We sold a large project and had a chunk of cash deposited in our business account thus freeing up that money in our 401k. It was maybe a day later that a former coach of ours reached out looking for funding. We hadn't spoken in a long time and several of his lenders were tapped out so he increased his interest rate to 12%. We are quite confident with his established business achievements so we were able to meet his deadline of 4 days later.
If he had stopped after the first 10+ "no's" he would have lost that deal. Instead, he said "NEXT" and stumbled upon us, who were his "someone's waiting" for the next lending opportunity. We were happy to lend him $20,000 at 12% for the next 6 months...that'll be an extra $1,200 going towards my retirement fund. Cha-ching! I mean NEXT!
Here are some famous rejections where folks ignored the "no" and went with the "NEXT!"
Julie Andrews, who played the lead in Broadway's My Fair Lady was rejected for the big screen version because she didn't have a movie-star face. She instead, accepted the lead role in the movie, Mary Poppins which won her an academy award for best actress. I can't imagine anyone else offering me a spoonful of sugar...NEXT!
Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Happily, for night owls across the globe, attempt 1,001 was a success. You light up my life...NEXT!
The man who evaluated Fred Astaire's first screen test wrote, "Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little," according to the Chicago Tribune. Astaire spent his film career proving that idiot wrong as he sang, danced, and acted his way through some of America's most beloved musicals. Shuffle, ball-change...NEXT!
Due to poor grades in high school, Steven Spielberg was rejected from the University of Southern California three times. 27 years later, was awarded an honorary degree at the same university. Talk about close encounters...NEXT!
"I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat." -Sylvester Stallone
Once you accept that a "no" is actually a "NEXT"...there's no stopping you! Here are a couple of tips to get you closer to that "YES!"
1. Ask as if you expect to get it. Believe in your heart that you already have a "YES!"
2. Assume you can. Assume you are going to get that front parking spot. Assume you can get the sales bonus. Assume the buyers will accept your offer. Assume you get the upgraded rental car. Never assume you can't get it...
3. Ask someone who can give it to you. If that person can't give it to you, ask who they know that can.
4. Be clear and specific. Don't say, "Will you lend me some money on this deal?" Do say, "I want to pay you 10% interest on your $30k over the next 4 months." Don't say, "I want you to help around the house." Do say, "I want you to put away all the dishes and fold your laundry as soon as the dryer buzzes."
5. Ask repeatedly. Persistence is key! Kids are pros at this...they will ask over and over and over again without any hesitation! That reminds me to take my birth control...
"To be successful, you have to take risks, and one of the risks is the willingness to risk rejection." -Jack Canfield
Take the time a make a list of everything you want but are afraid to ask for. Next to each one, write down the fear that stops you from asking. What is the pain that will grow from NOT asking? What is the benefit?
Now...who are you going to ask first?
Jen Josey is a Canfield Certified Trainer and subject material from this blog was adapted from Jack Canfield's The Success Principles™:How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. If you would like to read more blogs by Jen Josey, visit